Moods

So, true to form, it's been too long.

Lately, between failed auditions, getting behind on my next book, and being turned down for more jobs than I care to admit, I actually thought that it might be good news if the world ends soon....at least I won't have to wonder how to pay for extravagances. You know, food, tire repair, car maintenance, phone bills.

I actually beat myself up for buying a book on communication in the hopes that it might help me land a job.

The feeling that I am a failure at life, and then my irrational resentment the world of adulthood, doesn't really help find a solution in a place where there are no good solutions. The irony is, I am the one who is always hopeful, sure things will turn around, and encouraging others to keep going. So now, when I'm the one who can't find a logical, happy, next step, I'm at a loss how to deal with it.

Being idealistic, hopeful, and moral doesn't give a person much income.

However, thanks to the YouTube spiral I found myself in the other evening, I came across an examination about the story of Cinderella. The narrator explained that what the world calls "bad" actually teaches strength. I was skeptical at first, but found that they had some valid points. (Here's the link if you want to see the whole thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huLSdm6IH0g )

It pointed out that part of what made Cinderella able to find love, was that she had practiced love in an environment where she was constantly abused. Her dreams were not of a prince, but they were her way of keeping herself grounded in a degrading place. She protected her animal friends from abuse, even though she couldn't avoid it herself.

In real life, we would say her gentle, loving, protecting, nurturing spirit are something of a miracle, that she was stronger than we knew. It was a daily choice that gave her the courage and clarity to be able to accept real love when it came, and to take practical action when it was time.

So yes, my moods are swinging from day to day, sometimes moment to moment, when there seems to way to deal with or solve my present problems. But, I'm passing along the nugget I'm still learning.

Our choices make us, and our outlook will have a far-reaching effect. Keep going, my friends!