What Next?

"What are your plans? What are you doing next?"

It's been a question I dread almost as much as "Why aren't you seeing anyone?"

I know people ask becasue they care, and for that, I am grateful. The problem is until recently, I felt compelled to...gloss over the truth.

My answers used to give an outline of what I do now for a paycheck, what I'm looking into for next year, and the mix of projects I almost always end up involved in.

But that was not the whole story.

With fear, I began answering "What next?" with "I don't know."

Because I don't.

I don't know what is going to happen this fall when work changes. I don't know what is going to happen next week, and I certainly don't have any clue past the next couple of months.

For people that know me, my faith is my guide. I know I was born for a reason, and used to think I knew how that would shape my life. The reality is...it has and hasn't. I'm still as lost and without options as I was at sixteen...I just was sure of myself at sixteen, and now have the wisdom to admit I'm clueless.

This I do know: We are all born for a reason, and we all have a purpose. If you are like me, it's okay not to know what's next. Just know there is something, and you are valuable. You are indispensable.

So here's to not knowing...yet. =)